The Parenting Life

Life can become busy very quickly. We all have our 'stuff' that fills up our time. Maybe it's school, work, your own business, the boss calls on you to do extra tasks, people asking you for help, or family needing your attention.

My time is very quickly filled up with 'mum' stuff. Taxi runs to and from school at 3 times a day, plus taxiing Dave to and from work, building car tracks, racing cars, scooter races, building lego, filling hungry tummies, building my muscles pushing around a trolley (cart) full of food and 2 boys (usually) to make sure there is enough to eat, and enough toilet paper and nappies (diapers) to last out the week. Then there's nappy changes, fights to break up, wounds to kiss better, endless cuddles, teeth to clean (and dentists to visit as a result of bad teeth cleaning!), toys to pack up, homework to help with etc etc. Then there is also the part of me that spends time helping Dave pastor, meeting with students, leading a worship set in the worship rooms, and of course spending quality time with quality people.

Now there are a tonne of mothers out there who have more kids, either homeschool or work - or both, run their own business, craft, write letters and stay in contact with people all over the world, grow their own food, and maybe don't have a lot of help. Or single parents who never have the option of relying on the other parent when they're feeling frazzled! These mum's are my superheros! I tell people - "I'm not a normal mother of 3. I have the most amazing husband who is completely involved in family life, lets me sleep in, puts the kids in bed and plays with them constantly. Then I also have people live with me, who help clean, cook, babysit, and generally just make life fun! I have a blessed life". I have learnt not to feel guilty because I have it somewhat easy, but instead always be thankful that God has built key pillars into my life. Even while I'm a million miles away from my immediate family, I am surrounded by amazing 'family' here.

However, even with all this help, I have struggled to find my own 'quiet time' where I can just fully engage with the Father, or listen to the sweet voice of the Spirit, or chill with Jesus. I am not a mornings person, so you won't find me getting up at 5am. I'm sure if I did - even to spend time with God - I would not be a very happy person by 11am :). Evenings are for quality time with my husband and friends. And during the day is often a write-off for time on your own when you have 3 little ones pulling on you. So where does a mother (or parent at home) find time to spend with Jesus?

You often hear it said that your own personal 'closet time' is crucial in your relationship with the Lord. And I totally agree. However, at different stages of your life, your 'closet time' might look a bit different. I've heard of mothers who would put their apron over their heads to be with Jesus and the kids knew not to disturb her. I've heard of people who use babysitters to get time alone. I've heard of parents who train their children who are past naps to have 'quiet time' in their room. But sometimes this doesn't always work. For a period of time before Chase was born, I had 2 kids at home, and only one would nap. 'Quiet time' never worked for the other one (yep I tried and tried - and gave up :) ). Then the second child decided at age 2.5 that he'd didn't need naps anymore. Now I am at a stage where I have one in full time school, the second in school 3 hours a day, and the third napping while both are at school. Yes, 2 hours of pure bliss :) (provided the napping child doesn't wake early, or I don't get a call from the school, or there is something urgent that needs attending to etc etc). You get the picture. Even though I have this time where I can just relax with Jesus, there are often things that interrupt. Sometimes it's the only moment in the day where I can tidy up, or pay bills, or sleep myself, or today it's to write this blog!

Guilt is often our first response. We think 'I haven't spent enough time with God, he mustn't be happy with me, he'll never use me for anything because I don't spend time with him…..'.  For a long time I disqualified myself from the promises of God. I have promises and prophetic words, dreams and ideas that I want to see happen in my life that extend beyond being a mother. But I thought that I was not good enough anymore.  I had to learn that my relationship with God is not determined by my quiet time. God is bigger than that. His love extends beyond the borders of time. His love is not waiting for me to sit and pull out my bible. His love reaches into the very mundane moments of my everyday life and reminds me that he is constantly with me. When I look at the beautiful chubby faces of my children, I am reminded of the innocence and perfection of Jesus. When I'm racing cars and it puts delight in the eyes and smiles of my kids, I'm reminded that by spending time with them I am spending time with Jesus. When my kids cuddle me I feel the love of heaven filling my very being. I am reminded that he entrusted their lives into my care and I am loving Him by loving them well. When I am tired and frustrated a small gentle voice reminds me that peace lives inside of me and I can feel His presences anytime, at any moment. So with hands in the sink, or keys in hand ready to rush out the door, I can take 5 seconds to stop and feel His presence upon me and inside me. Then I can walk through the next moment aware of Him, aware of his love, aware of his ever present spirit, aware that I am loved no matter what I do or don't do.

From this perspective, I can teach my kids how to live a life fully abandon to Christ. I can show them how to do life being aware of His presence even though things are busy. This is living from a place of rest. Being aware of his presence and relying on His strength as we go about the things we have to do.

So in those 2 hours where I could be opening my bible, sometimes I don't. Sometimes I feel like Holy Spirit says its ok to sleep, or its ok to make dinner, or its ok to write. Sometimes I have worship music on, most times I don't :). As a family we do dance parties to fun worship music (we've tried soaking - lying on the ground listening to worship and listening to the Holy Spirit - but my boys are too active, so we dance). We talk about Testimonies - what God's been doing. Not what he's not doing, but what he IS doing. Looking for the good things, thanking God for looking after us. Making declarations of the promises of God in our lives. Your family and my family will be different. It's a matter of finding what works for you and asking Holy Spirit for ideas :).

I am not disqualified. I am not sitting around waiting for my destiny to happen. This is my destiny. The thing he had placed in front of me. I will live it well and find God in every little thing possible! I still dream big - dreams for my family, and dreams for the future. Because now I know that God is in every moment and is teaching me through every little thing. As new things come my way I have to learn how to steward what I've learnt, and listen to Holy Spirit - because there may come a time when he asks me to put aside an hour or two a day just to be with Him. It's a life journey of listening and obeying in the moment. What's he asking of you today?